Juli's Blog

Mary and Joseph are on a journey. The must go to Bethlehem to pay their taxes, and be counted. Because the decree went out from Caesar Augustus that taxes were to be paid and they were to be paid in the town of your husband’s birth.

All I can think is that paying taxes is hard enough, but now the ruler changes the rules and says that you need to return to your hometown to do this. I am not talking about jumping in your car and driving from the suburbs into the heart of the city. We are talking about a ride on a donkey and about 5 days of travel to go from Nazareth to Bethlehem. I have no desire to sit on a horse for 5 days let alone a donkey and then add into the equation that Mary is 8.75 months pregnant. Think about how uncomfortable that must have been for her. Yep, they made some stops along the way to visit with family and friends but that is still such a long journey.

Mary and Joesph were making this journey because Caesar Augustus was worried about the expanding population of the country and that there wouldn’t be enough food to take care of the people in the country. So the only thing that he could come up with was for people to return to the town of their birth and be counted and taxed.

Wow! What a thought. Can you even think of anything like that happening today? Can you imagine what that would look like? The chaos that there had to have been? But like so many other things we have seen over these past 4 weeks was Mary and Joseph’s faithfulness. Their commitment to each other, their commitment to their faith, their commitment to the unknowns.

Love is amazing thing. Love takes on so many shapes and sizes and colors. Love is core to who we are as human beings. Love is glorious and heartbreaking all at the same time. I think of the amount of tears that I have cried over the years because of love.

It’s so hard! Because to be open to love, you have to be open to the pain that comes with it. You cannot have love and not have pain sometimes too. But it’s worth it right? I think so, I mean because of love I have a pretty amazing family and friends, because of love I have amazing memories of times gone bye. When you love, you have the ability to share a part of yourself with others.

How does this tie into Christmas? Christmas is the ultimate gift of love and sacrifice. Mary carried a child, she risked being exiled from her family and community and why? Because of love.

So, my friends as you are running around this week looking for that perfect gift. Remember you have already given your family and friends the best gift of all. You have loved them.

My challenge to you this week is to stop the craziness of the week and getting ready for a perfect Christmas. Remind people that you love them. Remind them that they are important to you and of course tell them that you love them.

Until next time,

Juli

Oh, I how I wish that I had the faith of Mary and Joseph, even John the Baptist as he is crying out in the wilderness.prepare ye, the way of the lord.

Faith is tough. Faith is trusting in the things unknown. Well, that’s where things get hard. I don’t know about you but I am not a fan of the unknown. I am a control freak, and I wear that proudly. I like to know what is going to happen and when, and truly if I could i would love to control the outcomes.

Faith is hard, it requires us to give up some of the control and trust that the right thing is going to occur even if it is not the outcome that we want for ourselves. I think about Mary and being a teenager and being told that you were going to bring a child into this. Think of the trust, the faith that it took, She was unmarried, had no reason to trust that she would not only be disowned by her family but disowned by her community. That’s some serious faith.

I have such a hard time trusting or having faith when I cannot control the outcome. I immediately go to okay what can I do to make this work the way I need it to? The problem with that thinking is sometimes maybe most of the time, my trying to control the outcome is really not the best for the situation, I should have learned by now that my need for control means more trusting in the faith that things will work out for the best.

It seems appropriate that week two in Advent leads from faith to week three which is Joy. Joy seems so easy after faith. Joy is the little things that makes us feel that life is good. Joy is your doggie kisses and friends and family and the list goes on and on.

What brings you joy? Sometimes it is just the smallest thing that can change your outlook. Maybe you got a text from someone, for me doggie snuggles and kitty purring can make even the worst moments bar-able. Life can be hard and it can get ugly, but we needs to seek out that joy. We need to look for that bright spot, and frankly we need to focus on the joy.

It’s easy to get focused on the negative, the things that steal our joy and take our faith. But we need to be more like Mary, we need to faith in the outcome will be best, and Joy will follow.

Until next time,

Juli

Today marks the first Sunday in Advent. The first week is to focus on hope.

The church calendar is a little bit odd, Advent actually marks the beginning of the Christian church year.

The story starts with God telling Mary that she is to carry and raise the hope of the world. And I personally love her response. Who me? I can’t do that I am only a small girl.

So many times we hear that voice in the back of our head that says who me? Yes, you. You should step out of comfort zone and try something different, something new.

It’s so hard. Its especially hard when the voice that you are hearing is echoed by the world around. Maybe today is the day, that you grab those running shoes and run or pick up a pair of drumsticks and try banging on a drum.

But maybe we should be focusing on the voice a little more often than ignoring it. Sometimes that voice that pushes you to try banging on a drum or going for a run maybe is telling you to stop and listen to the world around, what are people really saying? And how can you respond to it?

In this season of crazy, maybe we need to stop and listen to the small quiet voice, telling us to step out the comfort zone and see if we can create hope for the next person.

Until next time,

Juli

It’s been a while since I have had a cold. I think I have forgotten what one was really like. That moment you realize that you are “coming down with something” to the moment you are so stuffed up that even breathing is hard. But like all things it takes time and patience.

Patience is a virtue, one in which I don’t always possess a lot of. I can have patience with certain things and generally I have patience with people and I definitely have patience for animals. What I lack patience in myself.

When I am sick, or I make a mistake I tend to be a lot harder on myself than I would be on someone else. In my head I am all over what I could have done better, what I should have said or what I wished I done.

I can be my own worst enemy. I want to make sure that I am doing everything right. I want to give everything I attempt my all, and when I feel like I have failed I have no patience with myself.

But I am learning, learning to take that breathe, take that step back and realize that I can fall flat on my face and still learn something and that just because the outcome wasn’t what I thought it was going to be. I tried, I gave it my all and sometimes things are just out of my control for a reason.

So my friends, this week, I invite you to take a step back and realize that sometimes things happen for a reason. And sometimes things just happen and we cannot control the outcome but we control how we react to it.

Until next time,

Juli

“In my life”is a song written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. It’s a song that pops in to my mind from time to time and usually when I am thinking about a friend or a place from my past. after all the first couple of lines of this song is “ There are places I’ll remember All my life though some have changed some forever, not for the better Some have gone and some remain.” It continues on to say “In my life I have loved them all.”

I have lived in multiple places in my life and some hold more memories than other’s. But places are just that they are just a place. What makes it special are the people that you meet when you are there.

Relationships are key in our lives. Whether that relationship is with family, friends or co-workers. How we interact with them and and they interact with us changes how we view them or the situation we are in.

If we are interacting with someone new, how we talk to them or the side of ourself that we present might be different then the side of me that my close friends or family get, but what should always be the same is the time and the attention that we give anyone.

Giving of my time to listen,to learn, to interact, allows for me to learn more about their story and shape another part of my life. It is no longer all about me or my world, it’s become our world. and hence we create places and memories that will remain.

We need to take the time to listen to what a person is not only saying, but sometimes not saying. Sometimes the non verbal is so much louder than the verbal.

We need to realize that people are not going to talk if they don’t think they are going to be heard. Sometimes it’s just more important to sit back and let them tell you their stories without you talking about yours and sometimes they need to hear to hear your story to feel comfortable in telling theirs.

So, my friends, in theses coming weeks I would like to challenge you, to step out of your box, find that person that maybe you want to connect with better or is just quiet in the corner and ask them how they are doing and then wait for an answer. Don’t just ask in passing or walk away before they answer pause let them answer and see what happens. Hopefully you will be blessed by someone.

Until next time,

Juli

I started writing this blog a year ago today. I guess it’s fitting that I started my blog on national mental health awareness day.

Writing for me has been something that has become healing for me over the years. I didn’t make a career out of writing. In fact I didn’t write for a long time. I listened to a couple of outside people, who I didn’t really know well and I stopped writing. They said I was untalented, and a crappy writer.

It was odd, because when I started college, my advisor asked me as I was trying to make decision on a major what I loved to do. I loved to read and I had all these ideas in my head for short stories, but I had not followed that side of myself, because I was a musician and frankly the people that I went to high school with were way more talented and creative writers than I thought I could ever be.

I went to college and learned that my love of writing, wasn’t just about the stories in my head. I started sharing my short stories and sometimes it was sharing of random thoughts. Professors encouraged and I learned that I didn’t have to choose music or writing. I could still play in the band and write and I have been known to write lyrics on a couple of occasions.

I graduated from college and graduate school at the beginning of the web year’s. People were being brave. They I longer had to tell you to your face what they thought about you, or something about you. And someone I still don’t know who. Said in a chat room that I had no talent and should stop trying to write. Best part is I took some strangers words to heart.

Fast forward to 2018 and I am laying on my couch one Friday afternoon and I could hear the thunderstorms rolling in and all of sudden I was writing this story that I knew nothing about how it was going to play out.

That story never did get written,in its entirety, and that’s okay because I have another one that is, and a third started.

The blog started because a friend of mine thought it would be important to share, the mental health writing I was doing during COVID and furlough and processing all that was happening. So after working out my fears of sharing my writing and my feelings with people, I decided to take the risk.

I have talked a lot about how we treat each other. Taking a step back and listen. Stop judging, start loving each other. Stop the hate. These are the things that weigh on my heart.

I celebrated my “herd” expanding on here, and mourned loosing a member of my “herd.” You, read about my love of running and trying to out talk the fat girl in my head to go run a race. Yep, broke my ankle and leg, but I met an amazing friend that day and I will not change that for anything .

Experience shapes us, good, bad and sometimes just plain ugly we are shaped by how we experience things. I can change the color of my hair, I can add a tattoo, I can do a lot of things to my appearance but it doesn’t change my heart.

So my friends as I start into year two with this blog, know that I will continue to ask you to treat each other with love and respect and be mindful of what what is happening around you. We are all in is together and as a mentor once told me. We are all that we have in this world, please take care of one another.

Until next time,

Juli

I am not sure I ever doubted that Lucy was my girl. From the moment I walked into the kitchen and there she was with those droopy eyes and this tiny pink collar. She was mine.

Now to that end Lucy had other plans. She was attached to this cute little white ball of fur with the other pink collar on.

I picked Lucy up and it was puppy love at first kiss. Lucy was vocal. She had something to say and was going to say it. It’s really how she went from Butterscotch to Lucy. To me, she was a cross between Lucy Van Pelt and Lucy Ricardo with the continuous talking.

But Lucy came with some other things that I didn’t expect. She came with her sister, Lily. I found out quickly that those two were not going to be separated.

Lucy’s first car ride was memorable. She cried the whole way home. It didn’t matter that her “big” sister Lily was right next to her. She was very unsure of this great big world she was venturing into.

Lucy was cautious, yet she had an adventurous side that kicked in when Lily talked her into thing’s. But really Lucy was handful. There was nothing that didn’t go into that puppy mouth. If she could put it in her mouth she would chew it.

Glasses, hearing aides, shoes, Kleenex, shirts it was all fair game in that first six months. Lucy’s favorite things were Kleenex. Never will I understand that girls obsession with Kleenex. Milk Bones were a favorite, but she liked her hoooman food. To that end again she was my girl, raspberries, blueberries and watermelon were among her favorites. Put if I wanted a lazy Lucy paw shake we broke out the peanut butter.

When we went for a walk Lucy always led the way. Even in her last few weeks with being blind she still took the lead. She knew where her harness and leash lived and was always up for a walk.

Lucy loved being my navigator on car rides. Didn’t matter if we were going two miles or 200 she was making sure I had a navigator.

Lucy surprised me the most with her love of the lake. The girl hated the rain, bathes and anything else that had to do with her being wet. So I was beyond surprised when I was told that she led the way down to the lake that first time. Lucy help my nephew meet all the neighbors at my sisters cabin when she and Lily and her furry cousins decided to take a run down the shoreline.

Lucy loved visiting my sisters cabin. She would get out of the car, and run for the lake take a quick swim and come back up and ask what’s next? She loved running alongside me when I took the four wheeler out and exploring all the north woods had to offer my city girl.

Lucy was a beautiful soul. She was an empath and wanted to heal every cut and scrape I ever had. She embraced her wiggle butt status with pride and would greet every person at the door as if they were the Queen of England. She liked to tell me when the mailman had been by and was protective of “her” section of the street.

So when Lucy got sick, my heart broke. When see lost her sight, my heart broke a little more. But she handled it all in true Lucy style. She adapted to meds and she was navigating the house and back yard well. Tuna would stand guard and not allow her to get to close to the edge of the deck. Lily was playing with her and all was going good. Until it wasn’t, and then came that soul crushing decision that it was time for my beautiful girl to pass over the rainbow bridge.

Lucy made my life so much better. Like I said she chose me. She kept sane and laughing through some of the darkest times of my life and she could make me laugh like no dog ever has.

I will adjust to my quite house, eventually my tears won’t flow every time I think of her. Lily will miss her sister and best friend. Tuna will miss her sparing partner. But the unconditional love Lucy brought to life will forever be missed.

Lucy.

Until next time

Juli

Some people say that their happy place is the beach or the mountains or even Vegas. For me, New York is my happy place. Partially because of Nikki. A person couldn’t have a better best friend. But 5 years ago New York stole a part of my heart ♥️. I fell in love with the city, and all the possibilities it has to offer.
The first things that I saw my first day/ evening was the new World Trade Center. I cried as we walked around the remembrance pond and all the flowers placed there just a few days before. I toured the museum. I included the stairs in this post that people were using to try and get out of bldg one. Again I cried as I listened and looked and read and it became more real for me that day.
One of the other pictures I included is the outside of the church where rescue workers would go to rest. I didn’t take pictures inside as people were praying and I wanted to be respectful of their privacy.
Yes, I still remember were I was on September 11, 2001 and my very first thoughts as I heard the radio announcers tell of what was happening. But on September 16, 2016 it became a lot more real.
Please never forget that 2,977 people lost their lives that day, 2,977 families were changed forever. And on September 12, 2001 our politicians put aside all of their differences and gathered on the steps of OUR capital and sang “God Bless America” and held hands. As we come to the 20th anniversary. Please do something positive. Do it anonymously if you wish, but for one day let’s take the negativity out of OUR country.

I got my cast off on Tuesday. It was freedom for my ankle and leg. But with that freedom comes responsibility. I am responsible to make sure that I have my splint or boot on depending on what I am doing. I can choose not to wear either one of those items or not do physical therapy but then I don’t have the freedom to say it hurts or I can’t do something because it lacks the ability.

I have to willing to put in the time and effort to get my ankle and leg back to pre break status.

We have all heard the talk about it is my choice or my freedom to wear a mask or not wear mask. Or the same can be said for the vaccine its my choice. I am not looking to make this political by any means.

What I am asking is for you to start thinking about the other people around you. Your friend that has lupus or cancer, or is the care giver for the elderly. Please think about our doctors and nurses that are so overwhelmed and over worked that they are committing suicide at an alarming rate.

Please think about our children and what we are teaching them.

What are you teaching that child that looks up to you? Are you teaching them that whatever you want is always the priority? Or can you teach them that you have to compromise and work with other people even if you don’t agree with their point of view.

We have become very much it’s my way or the highway people. We need to lose that mentality.

That mentality is only hurting each other and that needs to stop.

I don’t care what color your skin is, who you choose to love and be in a relationship with. What I care about is you as a human being. All of you. Mentally and physically and we cannot live as we are called to live which is to love one another. When we are constantly saying I am right and you are wrong. It needs to stop. Plain and simple. We are no longer 5 playing on the playground. We are adults and what are we teaching the next generation? That the playground rules of the 5 year old still apply? We should be teaching compromise, love, forgiveness, listening.

Until next time,

Juli

The other day I was standing in the kitchen and Tuna (my cat) walked in and started talking to me. She clearly wanted my attention and clearly had a story to tell me. Now my meow is okay but clearly it was not fluent. I had no clue what she was trying to tell me.

Now what she was trying to tell me became crystal clear when I walked outside later that day and she had left me a present on the patio. I praised her for leaving it on the dirt of the patio and not bringing her mouse into the house and promptly asked my neighbor to get rid of it as I am still on crutches and the balance to grab a mouse off the ground was probably not going to happen.

I will tell you that I speak bark a lot better than I speak meow. I have had a lot more practice with bark. Tuna has only been with me for 7 months and really it has only been in the last couple of weeks that she has come at me with different meow’s. The first time I clearly understood that she was mad at me for allowing stranger’s in the house. I got that message loud and clear. This last one I was clueless. She was speaking a different language and I just did not understand what she was saying.

The thing of it is, it happens so often, unfortunately we can be speaking the same language and the other person has no idea what we are saying.

When we say it is not okay for someone to talk to us a certain way and someone comes back and says what is the big deal blow it off, it undermines the way you feel about something. It undermines your feelings. Now you have two people that have made you feel unimportant or worse unloved.

The words that we use have meaning, they have value and if we are not careful, we can really hurt someone with those words. But if we choose our words carefully, act with kindness, stop and think about what we are doing we have a chance to build a person up.

Is that not a better idea to build a person up then tear them down? It is so easy to get caught up in the negative and hang out there. But it is so much harder to find the positive so maybe that is the challenge in today’s world. Find the positive, speak the different language then rest of the world.

Until next time,

Juli