I have been on a mission for the last few weeks… get my fence stained. In my head this was going to be a quicker project than it turned out to be.
I knew in my head what color I wanted the stain to be. I walked into the paint store and showed them a picture of what I was looking for, the guy said I got what you are looking for right here. And shows me 7 or 8 colors in a variation of brown. I pick the one that I think is closest to the picture in my head and the picture that I brought in. I get home and I start to get ready to stain and I open up the stain can and my first thought is this is not what I asked for.
I found a post on the fence and tested the stain and it was no where near what I was picturing. I put my paintbrush away and stared at the board for two more days and the color was not winning me over, so with can in hand, I went back to the paint store and asked how the color I picked out is so much lighter on the boards then what the little paper sample looks like. The clerk opened the can, and looked inside, then looked at the color measurements on the can, and said what color did you pick out again. I showed him and he became apologetic and said I am sorry they mixed the wrong color.
I was like okay, mistakes happen but thank you for reminding me to never leave with paint without double checking that what you created matches my the vision in my head.
With the correct color in hand I went to out my fence a few days later and started to stain the posts and cross beams, this turned out to be a lot harder than I was expecting it to be. I was like I got this, until my arm had to go over my head for an extended period of time. I wanted to cry after just a few minutes. You see that movement is still really painful 8 months after surgery to repair my neck and arm from wear and tear on my body. I knew that I had to push on because my fence was not going to get stained if I didn’t do it.
I started small, I stained one post, and then I was like okay I can do this and stained a cross beam. I thought I got this. The next day I was like okay I have a couple of hours to work on this let’s do it. I learned quickly that talking with someone while I was having to go over my head to stain helped me to not think about the amount of pain that it was causing. My favorite music playing also helped to keep me motivated to keep moving forward.
I realized as I was painting the posts and cross beams that I was not going to get my fence stained in one weekend no matter how long my weekend was because I had limitations, not only was going over my head painful but my hand still cramps on a regular basis and that would slow me down as eventually I could no longer hold onto my paintbrush.
When I was creating my summer to do list, I was like okay I got this, stain my deck, stain my fence and paint my house, along with move flowers around and create another new flower bed. I breezed through putting together my newest flower bed, I got fencing up and around some new plants to keep my pets away from them. My garden was going good, and I was ready to cross more stuff off my list.
I started with my deck, and that went super fast and I was like okay I am moving right along, and I will be painting my house in no time. What I didn’t anticipate is that as much as I like to believe I am not Wonder Woman. I have limitations, and with a paintbrush in my hand, I learned quickly that those limitations, make me rethink what I can do, how much I can get done and when it is going to happen.
I also learned to lean into my cheerleaders. They don’t have to be right there to cheer, maybe they were the voice on the phone distracting me from the pain, or the person that says it’s looking good.
I am also realizing that it’s okay to say I can’t do this or I can’t do this by myself. These are hard words for me and so many people to say. But there comes a time when you just have to say, distract me or even help me. There is nothing wrong with this, in fact, we are not made to walk through this world alone and do everything ourselves but to find those people that can help and lift us up when we are struggling.
The lesson behind the paintbrush is things do not always go as planned, distractions are sometimes needed, it’s okay to ask for help, and in the end it’s okay to say I tried my best.
Until next time my friends,
Juli
Juli's Blog 